College Life vs. Post-College Life vs. Married Life

So after reading my brother's blog I was thinking about the differences between my life in college and my life now almost 4 years removed. He's living off campus (which I never did), own a scooter (which I've always wanted), and is getting way better grades than I ever did (eh...he can have that). But at the same time he's beginning to really create an identity for himself. Not in the sense that he's marketing himself, though he is trying to get an internship in Nashville, but in how he's becoming aware of how he perceives the world. His temporary man-crush on Bono aside, I like what he's doing. And I wish that my college experiences had been filled with sleepless nights careening through town on a scooter. So I hope he continues and doesn't allow his workload with school take over.

(Side Note: I feel like my prose and poetic writings have suffered from my lack of substantial quality reading, so I've continued with Frank Herbert's Dune series that I began at the beginning of the summer and re-started Fahrenheit 451.)

But back to the point of my post. Four years ago I had the option to not go to class. I could call in sick to work. I could watch independent films until 6AM. I could get food for free 12 hours out of the day. I could decide to go camping for a weekend at 10PM on Friday night. Now I don't have quite the same freedom. Once I graduated I had all sorts of wonderful student loans to pay and expectations to fill. So I got a job. But I could still go climbing in the afternoon. I could spend 4 hours watching a Mythbusters marathon. I could buy clothes and movies whenever I wanted. Then I got married. I work. I'm expected at home after work. I empty trash and fill the dishwasher and empty the dryer. I walk the dogs. I pay utility bills. I go to bed before midnight...most nights.

I'm not saying that I don't like being married. I love being married. I love the security I have now. She is always waiting to see me when I get done with work. She's got food cooking when I get home. She wakes me up in the morning for my conference call on Tuesdays. She (usually) ignores when I leave the toilet seat up. She waits for me to crawl into bed before fully falling asleep. But there is some small amount of freedom I gave up when I got married. And not just with marriage. I can't go on a week long road trip without substantial prior notice at work. I can't decide not to go to work because I'd rather listen to a brand new CD I just got. I can't wait until 5 minutes before I have to head to work to wake up or I go hungry that day. I have yet to do that because I'm asleep, but I've had a few days where I almost procrastinated myself out of lunch.

When I got married, my focus shifted. It shifted off of me and squarely onto her. So I make sandwiches at 12:15 instead of spending 10 more minutes online and buying lunch. I pay off credit cards instead of charging brand new bikes to them.

I guess I'm just learning what it's like to focus on someone else.